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How to Stop a Breakup

November 19th, 2008    Subscribe To Our Feed

The test of true love is how long two people stay together; no matter what life throws at them.  Sometimes, a mature relationship can struggle.  It is at this point that a decision has to be made.  More often than not, the decision to break up is the most common one made.  If you believe your relationship is rocky and may be heading toward a breakup, but you’re not ready to throw in the towel yet, you need to know how to stop a breakup.

There are many reasons why people break up.  Most breakups happen because the relationship has grown stale.  One person, or sometimes both people, in a relationship realize that they just don’t seem to have anything in common with the other person anymore.  Maybe the spark of attraction is gone.  Maybe they feel that there is someone else out there better for them.  If your partner already broke it off with you, then you know the reason, or reasons, why they didn’t want to continue in the relationship with you. However, it’s much easier to stop a breakup before it happens.

If you believe your relationship is heading toward a breakup or  your significant other has broken it off with you, and you’re not quite ready to give up yet.  If you think your relationship is worth fighting for.  Whether or not it truly is, can only be determined by you.  Then read the following advice on how to stop a breakup; to see if it can help you.

Think things through. There’s nothing worse than a knee-jerk reaction.  When someone breaks up with you, it is very painful.  All you think about is the positive within the other person.  However, sometimes, a breakup can be a blessing in disguise.  It helps if you can put down on a piece of paper the good things and the bad things about the other person. 

Divide the paper in half.  Write down all the positive attributes and qualities the other person possesses and then write down all the negative attributes and qualities the person possesses.  Make sure that you do this when you’re rational and clear thinking.  Be honest with yourself.  Don’t sugar coat it.  If the negative qualities and attributes outweigh the positive, then perhaps, there’s no reason to want to stop the breakup. 

Talk to your partner. Another piece of advice on how to stop a breakup is to talk to your partner. Let your significant other know what you are thinking. The relationship you are in with your partner is two-way. If you can have an honest discussion with your partner, you may be able to avoid a breakup.

They may be able to open up to you about something that is bothering them.  It is very important that you don’t get into any type of confrontation during the talk.  If you do, you will only shut down their willingness to communicate with you.  You need to listen and not become critical or angry. This may be hard to do, but it’s very important.

Value love.  It is not everyday in your life that you find a person who will love you as you are. If you think your partner loves you more than anything else, remember to value it. A little lack of excitement in the relationship is not proof that you have lost the connection. You might just have to rekindle the love embedded in the depths of your hearts. While your partner is with you, value the love you have for each other. In other words, don’t take the other person for granted.  In a mature relationship, taking someone for granted is very easy to do. 

Get help from a professional. This is by far the best piece of advice on how to stop a breakup.  If you truly cherish your relationship, and you seriously think that you’re heading toward a breakup; then getting help from a professional is probably the best thing you can do.  Therapists and relationship counselors have saved countless relationships.  There’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you have to resort to this.  It’s amazing how having a specially trained third party; who is completely neutral, listening to you and partner discuss your problems can truly impact your relationship for the better.

Tags: how to stop a breakup, love, relationship

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How To Write A Good Online Dating Profile

November 18th, 2008    Subscribe To Our Feed

Knowing how to write a good online dating profile could make the difference between attracting the man of your dreams and wasting time with guys who are not right for you at all. Your profile is your ’store window’, what makes people want to come on in and know you better.

Take time to write your profile - it is important. Often, when a person joins a dating site, the profile is something you have to do right away. The site will not let you get in and see all the other members’ profiles until you have done it. So you rush through, writing the minimum in each spot, thinking you will do a better job later, because you are excited to get in.

Then it could be days, weeks or months before you write any more. Meanwhile, you are not giving other members the chance to see you at your best.

Most sites have a ‘new members’ section where they display the profiles of people who just joined. This is a big reason for writing the best profile that you can, right from the start. Guys who have been members for a while will be looking here, and if your profile just says ‘I’ll do this later’, what will they think? Not much, probably.

Your first few hours and days as a brand new member are the best chance you have to attract attention to your profile. So make it good.

You probably already picked out a photo. If not, it should be a recent one, showing you in the picture and nobody else. It is best if you are smiling. Make it head and shoulders only if the display is small. You can usually put other photos in a gallery, if you want to show yourself skiing, with the dog, etc.

When you are describing yourself, try to pick out the things that make you unique. You do not want to sound like everybody else here. Be as specific as you can about what you like. For example, instead of saying that you like movies, give the names of a few of your favorites. Instead of saying that you enjoy eating out, say that you like Thai food.

If there is something unusual about you, such as red hair, a special talent or skill, or even something that you consider to be a disability, make a feature of it. The more you say about yourself the better, as long as you say it in a positive way. Something like ‘Only having one arm doesn’t stop me loving life, driving a car and doing most everything else a person would want to do.’

On the other hand, do not close off your options by writing too much about what you don’t like, or being too specific about the person you want to meet. If you really don’t want to meet smokers, Republicans, guys with kids or guys who drink, you might want to say so … but think first whether you are sure. What if a guy only has an occasional beer? What if he has a child somewhere that he never sees?

In the same way, if you say that you like tall, muscular, dark haired guys, you will be limiting your options. A guy who is blond will click away without contacting you, and so will a guy who doesn’t think he is particularly tall. Do these things really matter so much?

If you still have no idea what to write in your profile, get a little help from your friends. Ask five friends or family members each to tell you one thing that they like about you, and one thing that is special about you. Put those together and almost instantly you will have a good online dating profile that will attract the right people - the ones who will like you when they meet you.

Tags: online dating profile, online dating, dating tips

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