Sexual Freedom in Context Of Dating After Divorce

May 19th, 2008    Subscribe To Our Feed

Women and men, in some ways, cope with relationship after divorce in different ways. While there may be excessive sexual activity that heals in the healing process for some, the condition of celibacy and being with one’s own self might be beneficial to others. But eventually what you must seek is a steady relationship.

A steady relationship can go a long way in making you feel good about your own self. They whole emotional overhaul you had after your divorce about not being able to maintain a successful relationship can be over turned here. You can prove to your self yet again that you are perfectly capable of being in a responsible relationship.

The other side of such a situation is getting into a transitional relationship. Such an arrangement can also be a great healer for some. One must not feel miserable after having broken u. remember the fact that you can still enjoy life as much as you used to do before your divorce. Remember that you are not as dull and boring as your thought you were. You have truly learned to move on.

Now again you need to sort out a very importing thing within yourself. Do you feel sex and dating are inextricable linked? Or do you feel that they can be enjoyed independent of one another.

Here, in this situation, what you must ask yourself is that do you want to just have sex to boost your self confidence, or do you want to get into a more serious relationship by seeing somebody. For many people sex proves to be a major healing factor. Therefore, as long as you are not cheating on any body, it is okay.

There are psychological reasons behind wanting this sort of an arrangement. Your divorce has left you feeling like a piece of shit. You have lost all you confidence to pull your life together, or to be with someone who can truly love and respect you. Therefore, what we would call here “sexual freedom” could indeed help you get over it.

There is a certain feeling of liberation one can get from it. The whole idea of being tied down to a marriage that you have just broken free from can be embodied in the freedom for sexual experience that you are getting attracted towards. You may have grown more and more anxious over the past few days after your divorce. This may lead t dangerous things like harming yourself or harming the people around you.

This is nothing put pent up anxiety, which needs an outlet. And sexual freedom can provide you with that.

But try not to get into this just as a means of escape. It can be a dreadful experience to recall later. See this as a rejuvenating experience, aimed at solely helping you to have a good time. You after all need help in liberating all those bottled up emotions; and now is the time to just let them go free. You indeed deserve a time without any cares. But, know where to draw the line.

Once can go on and on about the implications of getting to such a relationship. The first question that pops up in the mind is that after your divorce, are you not looking for some kind of stability? In such a case how would this kind of an arrangement help? Will not the breaking off of this relationship cause an even greater heartbreak?

Second, what impression will it have on your children? We are assuming here that you are being very open to them about your maneuvers, as discussed before. They might perceive this as something very frivolous on the part of their father.

Remember you have been trying to construe yourself as a role model to them.  

All this can be solved only by being sure of what YOU want. You must know very clearly that you are not cheating on anyone – the woman, your kids, and most importantly, yourself. You must come to a realization within yourself first that what you are looking for is just a healer, and not a long term relationship.

A long term relationship entails a lot of commitment, mentally, and you are not ready for it right now. So till you are ready to go for it, these would act like a breath of fresh air and sustain you for awhile.

Tags: dating after divorce, dating tips


The Basic Dating Safety Tips You Should Know

July 18th, 2007    Subscribe To Our Feed

Dating is actually a test to find out whether or not the person you are meeting with could be the right person for you to spend your life with.  While you are searching, you are bound to go out on many dates, and meet many people. Safety is very important in today’s world. There are a lot of dangerous people out there, some mentally sick, some simply sadists, some outright psychos – all hiding behind a decent and civilized façade. Are you ready for the dangers that court you through dating? Read on.

Safety Is Important – Are You Circumspect Enough

When you decide to go out on a date, ensure that you follow some dating safety tips. There are many things you should keep in mind when you go on a date. Some of the most important dating safety tips are listed below. Read them carefully; they could spell the difference between life and death.

1. Never have your date come to your house till you are totally familiar with him or her. This is very important because things might not work out and you never know how the other person takes this. It could happen that your date takes rejection personally and wants to “teach” you a lesson. Therefore, never disclose your exact address, or call your date(s) home till you learn more about them.

2. Always have someone know about your whereabouts and when you are expected back from the date. If you have a cell phone, let them have the number (they could be your family, your friends and even neighbors). In case something goes wrong, there should be someone out there who would know about it soon enough. This dating safety tip should never be ignored.

3. Choose a public place for the initial meetings – like coffee shops, snack bars, shopping malls, theaters etc. Do not opt for secluded spots unless you are totally comfortable with the person. Going to a hotel room, his/her house, an ‘empty apartment’ etc is not a good idea. Do not ignore this dating safety tip at any cost. There have been many instances where people (both male and female) have been hurt or killed because they ignored this aspect.

4. Make arrangements to leave the meeting place alone. This dating safety tip would enforce the fact that you would not have the person know where exactly you live.  Till you are completely comfortable with the person, it is safer not to let him/her know your address.


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